Most & Least Romantic

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE .... BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND
LINE:


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty,
and so is your head.


I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHERE ARE MY QUESTIONS ?

I am trying to understand how I am to get your questions if you want to remain unknown which is understandable in some cases ?

You may comment anonymously with your question or even suggestion - any other ideas out there ???

I love blow jobs....

Dear Sandy Patsy,
I love blow jobs....is it true that when proceeding to please my
partner, I should always start with my tongue
& her pussy?

Signed
Jerry Orange

Dear Mr. Orange,
Just because you might like to start with a blow job, doesn't mean she does. I have been mystified for years why most men think (they hardly do, especially when it involves their penis)
that women want what THEY want. Here is my answer:
Women do NOT want the very same thing...modified of course....that men want. Jerry, dear, please put away your manual. Joe Hardy recently told me he didn't need a road map. I laughed in his texted face.
U have to put this one to the lady.
If you care about each other, I hope she can woman up, so to speak.
Speaking of speak, for both of your chewing enjoyment, for everyone's sake, talk about it. I know we all wince when the subject arises, but therein lies your answer.
Good Luck Jerry. Open your mouth to speak first. I love it if my lover begins foreplay with concern on how he might please me. .:) wink
FYI, in my new book, "Keep Your Kitty" there is an abbreviated answer if you have to be in a hurry.

Merry Christmas,
Sandy Patsy

What about Christmas Gifts ?

Dear Sandy,
I am recently divorced after 23 years of marriage. I have been dating the father of my son's friend from school. He broke it off last night and though I am sorry I understand we were getting too close for him to be comfortable and I will find someone else !!! He has been divorced and living by himself for a long time and just is not ready to change that. Anyway, we both have agreed we want to remain friends because of the boys who kinda set us up. I am moving on.
My question is what shall I do with his Christmas gifts? My friends all say take them back to the store.
I bought them especially for him and I want him to have them. What do you think ?
Teresa

Dear Teresa,
I have this same problem with Bud's gifts, my current internet obsession.
One was an arial photo of a thousand wild horses in the Flint Hills which we had talked about on the phone as I drove & had seen for the very first time myself. The other was a CD of
Jason Mraz "I'm Yours," He had said that to me several times. Anyway, there's no taking those things back. What I did take back was a Victoria's Secret bra with a "P" for him (Pussy Lover), I wanted to keep, but it would have always made me sad/mad. Long answer to a short question is yes, get your money back. If you went ahead & gave him your meaningful gifts, it could embarrass him & make you both feel bad if he has nothing for you.
You know later he'll want you back after you've moved on.
Go quickly.

SEX STRATEGY

Going thru an unwanted break-up ?

Have a question about your relationship ?

I will be able to offer biased strategy ...........................
to get you where you want to be.


Comment here to ask about your next move.................

or email sandyellenpatsy@aol.com